Lapis Lazuli
by Kurisu
Summary: (Post-Confession) After saving the neighborhood, Arnold comes to a realization. *completed*
1. And she led me on...

Once I got back home from the movie, I started thinking: Why was Arnold SMILING? I think he knows what he and Helga did. I'm pretty sure Arnold will love Helga eventually...it always happens. ^_^; It's too cliche.   
And if Arnold has too much of a big vocabulary for a fourth grader, tell me. It's been a while since I was nine, plus, he seems much older and mature than most his age anyway. There are spoilers for anyone that hasn't seen the movie yet. The show doesn't belong to me. Also, you'll see some Smashing Pumpkins lyrics floating around. ^_^ I'm completely obsessed with their songs. Those lyrics belong to them.   
Anyway, read and enjoy! ^_^ I've been working on this since the movie came out, and it is complete. I hope you like it. This was to help me get over my writer's block, and I feel a bit confident over this.  
  
  
_Nothing left to say   
And all I've left to do   
Is run away from you   
And she led me on, down   
With secrets I can't keep...   
- Soma_  
  
I wake up. Another morning, but this time, one that I thank for. It's all over now. We got back our neighborhood. I breathe a sigh of relief and smile. Sitting up, I notice that I woke up an hour before the alarm. I take that time to think of everything that happened just yesterday.   
And that scenario on the roof.   
Helga was desperately trying to lie to me, saying how she never meant it. I knew she would do it, knew that she would try to take it all back. I knew exactly what she would say. After all, I've known her since--when? Preschool? But she revealed everything to me up there, something I know she's never really done to anyone, not even Phoebe. She even kissed me. It sounds cliched, but that really took my breath away. I would've returned it, had the neighborhood not depended on me. Now when I think about it...it was my fault that she ended up denying it in the end.   
Sure, we got it back. But now...I still feel empty. I don't know what it is, but I know it has to do with what happened. I remember smiling at the end...I know that it wasn't the craziness of the situation. Touching my lips for what seems like the thousandth time since it ended, I close my eyes. It was my fault. I could've just told Helga...could've just said it. I think that marriage thing warped my mind. After that dream ended, I remembered how....warm a feeling I felt. And it was even more after...   
What's going on? I feel it again.   
It wasn't like what it was with Lila...it didn't feel like this. I smile. It feels...nice, in a weird way. Thinking of what happened, all those times when Helga actually managed to show who she really was. And all those times she kissed me...sometimes longer than need be. Maybe...I'll talk to her today. Yeah, I think I should.   
Figuring that it wouldn't hurt to get ready for school early, I put on my usual clothes on, anticipating for school to begin already. To see Helga--what is wrong with me? But the more I think of her....the warmer it feels...almost like a pleasant fluttery feeling. Once I got dressed, I layed in my bed, hoping to get another half hour of sleep in. But the more I think of her, the harder it is to sleep. I even think I could see her shape in the morning clouds... Am I going crazy again?  
  
I walk inside P.S. 118, hoping to catch a glimpse of Helga. But she's nowhere. Thoughts cloud inside my head. What if it's her that's feeling guilty over what happened? What if she's sick? What if--  
  
"Arnold, man, are you feeling alright?" Gerald's voice brings me out of thought.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay."  
  
"You've been like this ever since we left the boarding house. What are you thinking of?"  
  
"Nothing...just how...we almost lost the neighborhood, that's all." I lie.  
  
"Well, we saved it, didn't we? There's no need to think about how we almost lost it. Are you becoming all..."  
  
"Pessimistic?" Gerald has a confused look on his face.  
  
"Where do you COME UP with these words?"  
  
"I don't know. I read a lot, I guess."  
  
I was so caught up in my thoughts and Gerald that I didn't notice we were already in the classroom. I look around. Everyone's there, talking loudly about what happened yesterday and how me and Gerald saved the neighborhood, occasionally looking at us. Yeah, everyone's there...except Helga. Where could she be?  
  
"There you go again, Arnold, spacing out. Are you sure you're okay?" said Gerald, concerned.  
  
"I'm okay. I've just been thinking a lot." I say, staring at Helga's empty desk. I glance at Phoebe, who seemed worried too.  
  
"Phoebe?" Wouldn't hurt to ask her.  
  
"Yes, Arnold?"  
  
"Do you know where Helga is?" She bit her lip, as though trying to think of something.  
  
"I...I don't know. We were supposed to meet at the bus stop today, but she never came."  
  
"Arnold, first you're spacing out, now you're wondering where Helga Pataki is? What's going on?" says Gerald.  
  
"Uh....."  
  
"And another thing. You never told me how Helga ended up with you, much less why."  
  
"It's a long story, Gerald..." The bell rang as Mr. Simmons stood in front of the class.  
  
"Now, class, before I start, I want all of us to thank Arnold and Gerald for saving our neighborhood from being demolished. They're both very special, and deserve our special thanks!"  
  
Everyone was clapping for us. They mentioned me and Gerald...but they don't know that if it wasn't for Helga, we wouldn't have saved it. She helped us the entire way...   
All of a sudden, as though mentioning her, Helga walks in. She looks depressed, as though she hadn't slept at all last night. Strangely enough, her usual pigtails were gone, and her hair was loose (she looks so pretty that way--what?). She glances at me once, an empty look in her eyes as she sits down in front of Phoebe.  
  
"Helga, where have you been? I was waiting for you at the bus stop. Are you well?" whispers Phoebe.  
  
"I'm fine, Phoebe." says Helga, almost emotionlessly.  
  
"Is it...ice cream, Helga?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
Ice cream. Does Phoebe mean me?  
  
  
Time for recess. Everyone runs to the playground, all except me and Helga. Gerald went with Phoebe to talk about all that happened (and possibly what I'm not telling him). Seeing that the hallway's cleared, I begin to make my move.  
  
"Hey.....Helga....?" I falter, little by little. What's wrong with me?  
  
"What do YOU want, Arnoldo?" She tries her hardest not to look at me.  
  
"Helga...are....are you okay?" Why is this so hard now?  
  
"I'm fine, Football Head. Now leave me alone."  
  
"You just look...out of it."  
  
"Look, would you just LEAVE ME ALONE? I'm OKAY." I think I just heard a choke in her voice...  
  
"...this has to do with yesterday, doesn't it, Helga?"  
  
"ARE YOU DEAF?! LEAVE.ME.ALONE! I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR HELP, OKAY?!" With that, she ran outside.  
  
...I chased her away again.  
  
  
I layed on my bed that night. I don't know what to do now. Helga won't talk to me, so now I know it must be me. For a moment, I caught sight of the full moon as it descended into the night clouds. I feel so worn out from everything today. I can hear something, some type of soft music, some type of silent poetry.  
  
_*close your eyes and sleep   
don't wait up for me*  
  
I stand in a meadow, taking notice that it was the middle of the night. How did I get here?   
Looking around, I catch a glimpse of pink and blonde. Suddenly, I look into pools of blue. Helga stood there, the moonlight brightening the blue of her eyes.  
  
"I didn't mean it." she says, breaking the silence.  
  
"Please don't lie to me, Helga. Tell me the truth."  
  
"That is the truth!" She turns her head away from me. I go closer to her.  
  
"Why can't you tell me?" Silence.  
  
"Because I'm afraid, Arnoldo."  
  
"Afraid of what?"  
  
She looks at me, her eyes filled with something I can't identify.  
  
"I...I don't know." As though her legs became weak or something, she falls on her knees.  
  
I have this sudden urge to hold her...comfort her...kiss her.....   
And suddenly, by some sort of instinct, I do. I wrap my arms around her, and reluctantly, she lays her head on my shoulder.   
Silence.  
  
"You shouldn't be afraid, Helga." She looks at me, and I easily feel like I'm drowning in her blue eyes.  
  
"Why not?" she whispers.  
  
"Because...I won't hurt you."  
  
Closing my eyes, I kiss her. The warmth I always feel rushes through me, a new excitement I never knew before. All I know is that I don't want it to end. I want it to last forever.  
_   
"Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!" The alarm clock. I slapped it with my hand, wishing I could go back to the dream...back to Helga...   
Was I in love with her? No, I'm sure that's not it.   
Going through my normal routine, continuous thoughts run through my head. Could I possibly like like Helga Pataki? Maybe even...love? Then some part of me still screams   
"Impossible! It's probably the other day that's making you go crazy."   
But that dream...   
~~~~~   
* = From the song "Soma". 


	2. I'll hear your song...if you want me to.

Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. ^^;  
  
_I'll hear your song   
If you want me to   
I'll sing along   
And it's a chance I'll have to take   
And it's a chance I'll have to break   
- Luna_  
  
I guess that Helga's doing much better. She's on the bus with Phoebe, talking somewhat excitedly. I walk with Gerald to sit down two seats across from them. He's telling me something about how unfair he was blamed instead of Timberly, but I suppose I'm 'spaced out' again. My thoughts turn to Helga, and the dream from last night.  
  
"Arnold? ARNOLD?" I snap out from my reverie. Gerald looks at me, a bit weirded out.  
  
"Uh...what were you saying?" I need to stop thinking. I've been doing it too much for the past two days. More than usual.  
  
"Man, you've been like this since yesterday, and you tell me you're okay. Come on, tell me, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Gerald." A thought of the kiss in my dream enters my mind, and I don't notice the smile on my face, until...  
  
"OH. Don't tell me...it has to do with LILA?" My eyes open wide. I felt some...twinge of pain in my chest. What was that?  
  
"No, it's not Lila."  
  
"Come ON. You've been quiet, spacing out, you even had that SMILE on your face. Does she like you like you?"  
  
"No, Gerald. I...got over Lila."  
  
"Yeah, right." I didn't notice the bus stopped. Walking out behind Gerald, I looked to the back to see Helga. She caught sight of me. Her eyes were filled with...pain?  
  
Oh no.  
  
"What are you STARING AT, ARNOLDO?" She pushed me out of the way, with a sad-looking Phoebe behind her.  
  
Sometimes, I can't help but be angry at Gerald.  
  
  
Lunch time. I stood in the line, trying not to look at Helga, who was on my right. But I couldn't help it.   
"Why are you staring at me again?! Do you have a PROBLEM, Football Head?"  
  
"No, Helga. I just want to know why you're back to your old self again."  
  
"Maybe I got over it, Arnoldo. And is there a problem with being ME?" I turn my head away.  
  
"I liked the side of you on the rooftop. I wish you'd continue being that Helga instead of the old one. You can't keep your wall up forever." I suddenly wonder if I said the wrong thing.  
  
"...Arnold?" I blink. Is she...will she...here?  
  
"Yes, Helga?" I try to say calmly.  
  
"...are you going to take the last of the tapioca or not?" Oh. I guess I was wrong...  
  
"You can have it, Helga." I wonder if she heard me sigh.  
  
"No, you can have it." Without warning, she took the bowl and gently placed it on my tray. I watch her walk to the table with Phoebe, and then it hit me.  
  
I think she took my advice. Or else she wouldn't have done something so civil just now.  
  
  
We sat in class, taking our math test. I was the first to be done, but I hadn't turned it in yet (I wrote "Helga" all over the sides of the paper--I'm definately going crazy--and trying to erase it). Then, I feel something hit the back of my head and land to the side of the floor. I sigh for a second, thinking it was one of Helga's spitballs. But I look next to me.   
It wasn't a spitball. It was a note.   
Picking it up, I recognize the curly handwriting. I remember the little pink book and how similar the handwriting was to Helga's. Not surprising, I realize it was hers.  
  
_Hey Arnold,   
I need to talk to you after school. And don't get any ideas that I 'love' you, bucko, because I don't. Anyway, meet me in the hallway near the water fountain.  
  
Helga G. Pataki  
_   
I blink. What could she want to talk about?  
  
I wait near the water fountain after school, hoping it wasn't some kind of trick. Surprisingly, it wasn't, as Helga walks over to me.   
"Why did you ask to meet me here, Helga?"  
  
She opens her mouth a bit, then closes it, faltering. "I...thought about what you said...and..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"I think that....that...."  
  
It must be hard for her to reveal herself...I need to get her used to it more.  
  
"....that....that....you're a stupid Football Hea--"  
  
"Helga, just tell me!"  
  
"That's what I wanted to say!" I can tell how much she wants me to know...  
  
"No, it wasn't. Look, I know how hard it is for you to tell me what you feel, but you don't need to be scared."  
  
"I'm not SCARED."  
  
"If you're not, Helga, then TELL ME. You told me on the roof, and now you can't do it? I know it wasn't a lie, I know you meant it."  
  
She looks at me, and runs out the school. I'm not sure what to do anymore.  
  
  
I suppose I was too...straightforward?   
I walk through the halls when suddenly, I'm shoved into a garbage can. There's no need to ask who. Helga stands over me, laughing in a way that sounded so full of pain and anger. I knew I shouldn't have said anything to her. This has been going on all day.   
"Hey, Arnold, are you okay?" asks Gerald, helping me out.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay."  
  
"Man, Helga Pataki is just in it for you today. Were you trying to help her or something?"  
  
"A little, yeah."  
  
"WHY?"  
  
"She has a problem showing who she is...I thought I'd--"  
  
"You are one BOLD kid, you know that? I'd think helping Helga would be a death wish."  
  
"Not really, just risky, I guess."  
  
"But still...why would you help HER, of all people? Isn't she the one that just TRIES to make your life miserable?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess...I kind of know her differently."  
  
"You know, Arnold, trying to get Helga to leave you alone is gonna be harder than how we saved the neighborhood."  
  
"I know, Gerald, but I'm willing to do it." We walk back to class.  
  
"You're a bold kid, Arnold."  
  
  
I feel something hit the back of my head. Another spitball. Then another. Another. I try not to lose my patience or anything, but it's slowly wearing out...   
It's my fault Helga's much worse today. The thought goes through my head as I do my work. I tried to change Helga, tried to bring down that wall she keeps building up to hide herself from everyone and everything. But I'm afraid I can't help. I think she has to be the one to change.   
Another. Then another. Yet another.   
And for some reason, I can't be mad at her. She has that...persistence. Another word Gerald would wonder how I learned.   
Maybe I'm just more mature than everyone else. Makes me wish I was normal. Then again, I'll never be normal.   
I don't think Helga's normal either. Something we both have in common, I guess.   
As class ends, and the last spitball is thrown at me, I brush them out my hair. She used to irritate me, and she was probably the only one who I'd lose my anger to. But now, I don't really blame her.   
~~~~~~  
  
Thank you to all that read my story and thought it was good. ^_^ I appreciate it.  
  
Lisa - That's what I'd like to know. ^_^;  
  
Helga243 - That's a relief. ^^; I was hoping that my characters wouldn't be seriously out of character. Seems to always happen to me. Thank you so much. ^^  
  
Dijina - Really? Lapis lazuli is a deep blue stone. But that's a strange coincidence. ^_^;;;; Whoever named the stone must have known that. I was afraid the title wouldn't fit the story, but it seems it does!  
  
brianaluvsfootballhead - You mean in the end? I was watching TOO closely....looking for hints of love from Arnold. I thought that smile was a BIG one. Anyway, thanks. ^_^  
  
Silvara, jess, & sNOw - XD It'll be continued. I'm done with the whole story (a FIRST for me and chapters), so I'll post them day by day.  
  
Miss Pataki - I had a little Arnold voice in my head. ^^; I kept thinking "What would he say?" and went by that. I hope that did well. And it will. ^^  
  
UnluckyBlueGoddess - ^_^ Thank you so much.   
  
anon - I think Helga was the hardest for me to capture. She's so complex. ^^; Originally, the story was supposed to be in her POV, but I thought we need an insight into Arnold's head this far in the story. ^_^ I knew he was very mature for his age, I just didn't want him TOO mature.  
  
Meagan - I do that a lot. ^^; I thought I was probably the ONLY ONE that saw him smile. Guess not. I'm HOPING they make the second movie...it'll be wrong if they don't. And thank you. ^^;  
  
Lynderia - ^_^ Thank you.  
  
Emokid - It left me the same way, though I think it was purposely done. IF they show the second movie, we'll find out. ^_^ Thanks.  



	3. But you just can't tell...

Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. ^^;  
  
_And I'm sure you know me well   
As I'm sure you don't   
But you just can't tell   
Who you'll love   
And who you won't...   
- Beautiful_  
  
I think the more I look at the moon, the more I think of her.   
I really don't know why. Something about it, like imagining if it was never there, how dark it would be. And yet, it's the single most beautiful thing in the night sky. Without it, there would be no waves or tide. We wouldn't be able to live without it.   
Kind of like how...I figure she can't function right without me. I just have that feeling that she really couldn't.   
Or vice versa.   
I blink. Why did I just think that?   
I've been thinking too much.   
Now I wonder also how I know so many difficult words. I think I'm becoming Phoebe or something.  
  
_*you make it right*_  
  
I jump up. What was that?   
Thinking too much. I forgot my radio was on. I turn it off.   
I climb up to the roof of the boarding house, just to catch the night breeze. It always helps me sleep, for some reason. I close my eyes, feeling it touch my cheek, imagining it's her hand....   
I shake my head. This is getting too serious.   
Why couldn't I take her confession lightly? I guess it was all too overwhelming at the time. I should've done something, should've told her...   
I don't know...it's all over, anyway.   
Suddenly, from the other side of the roof, I hear a loud sound. I jump up to find out what it is. Whatever it was, it's gone now.   
But there's a pink bow left on the ground.   
Helga?  
  
The next morning, I go through my normal rountine as usual. But I don't leave without the pink bow. Since I woke up early this morning, I sit outside with it while I wait for Gerald.   
I run the fabric through my fingers. It's soft and silky, very nice to the touch. No wonder Helga loved this bow, if not for another reason that I have a feeling of. Somehow, I think she would want it back, not for the fabric or the pink, but for something deeper, almost sentimental.   
I loved this bow, for some reason. It was strange when I first saw her with it, how much she matched. The bow seemed so...perfect on her. She wouldn't be the same without it, it's like it's a part of her.   
A part of her that I liked...a part of her that I still need to find out.   
But as I look at it, I realize: I knew who she was...before Phoebe ever did.   
No one remembers it, but I do. That whole scenario with Harold (being stupid as usual, I'd admit that) and Helga. That's when she changed. I never bring it up, thinking it just might be something too painful to mention.   
I think I should now.  
"ARNOLD!!!!!" I hear someone scream. Snapping out of my thoughts, I realize that it's Gerald.  
  
"Uh...sorry, Gerald."  
  
"Arnold, you're really creeping me out now. I'm gonna ask this again: Are you SURE you're okay? Or do you need Dr. Bliss, too?"  
  
"I know you don't want to hear this again, but I'm fine. I've just been--"  
  
"--thinking a lot. What exactly ARE you thinking of?"  
  
I really don't know what to tell him.  
  
"Look, Arnold, I'm just worried about you. Ever since it all ended, you've been like this. I'm just wondering...if you're not okay, then maybe I can help."  
  
"Now that's weird. The helper being helped?" We both smile.  
  
"I'll do what I can, Arnold. Something's wrong, don't keep it from me."  
  
I thought about that as we boarded the bus. Helga stares at me for a few seconds, then turns away. I hold the pink bow in my hand, and notice that it's missing from her hair.   
How can I tell Gerald about Helga without freaking him out?  
  
Walking in the classroom, I try to decide whether I should give the bow back now. It's probably special to her. And yet...I could use it for something.   
I think I'll hold it for a little while longer.   
Mr. Simmons runs in the room excitedly. I wonder what happened...?   
"Hello, class! I have some great news! We're going on a special field trip to the museum next week!"  
  
Everyone groans except me and Phoebe. For some reason, it's not that boring to me, because I always find something interesting there.  
  
"Now, I know you're excited! These are the permission slips--Sid, will you pass them out, please--and they're to be returned by next Tuesday! Does anyone have any questions about the trip?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Well, then....next Tuesday!"  
  
I hear Helga in the back...  
  
"Great. Another BORING field trip..." she says. The next minute, I'm hit by a spitball.  
  
"I'm rather looking forward to going to the museum. It'll be very interesting." Phoebe.  
  
"I don't think a bunch of dinosaur bones and old vases are 'very interesting'."  
  
"It depends on the way you view them, Helga. They're much more than that, you know. They have a history, a life..."  
  
"Whatever. I'll just go just to get out of school for a day."  
  
"I'm sure you'll understand it..."  
  
Why do I get the feeling she was describing Helga herself?  
  
  
"Hey, Arnold, you wanna play a game of baseball after school?" asks Gerald.  
  
"....no thanks....I have to study...." I lie. But I know it's not a very good one.  
  
"For WHAT? We have no tests! And you've been out of it this past few days. I think a game is all you need."  
  
  
I walk home after the game, several bruises covering me. I don't think I can concentrate on anything anymore.   
All I can think about is Helga.   
Pulling the bow out of my pocket, I stare at it. I now know why she always wore it. I said I liked it, and she kept wearing it.   
I think we both know that I know. Helga can't fool me anymore.   
I walk up to my room, and turn on the radio. I've gotten used to listening to calm music for some reason, like that New Age stuff. One begins, and for some reason, it suddenly reminds me of her. The sounds of heaven, almost. A harp plays with utter perfection, and I see her in my mind, her sapphire eyes glowing.  
  
_"Hey, Arnold...."_  
  
I smile. Her voice was just the most beautiful sound......like the harp. But suddenly, it flashes, and I see Cecile.   
Was she Cecile?   
If only she could be herself for once.   
I open my eyes, noticing I had another one of those "half-asleep" dreams. But it felt almost real. Like I really did see Helga.   
Now, I'm going crazy. I really can't rationalize this.   
First of all, why am I thinking of Helga like this? I can't...no, I'm sure I don't like her. It's still the same, right?   
_I beg to differ._ One of those inside voices.  
  
"I don't like Helga. I mean, she's just a friend to me. All she did was...help us...and confess her love to me...and kiss me...."  
  
_Exactly._  
  
"It's just that...thing you feel when someone kisses you or something. Like that play we had a while ago..."  
  
_But it wasn't supposed to be a real kiss. And she gave you one on the roof._  
  
"But I don't like her."  
  
_Admit it, Arnold, you like her like her._  
  
"That's crazy. I can't like Helga. I like Lila...."  
  
_You haven't thought about Lila in a week. All that was on your mind was Helga. And face it. Lila doesn't like you like you._  
  
"But I can't like Helga!"  
  
_Why not?_  
  
Now, I know I've lost it...I'm arguing with myself.   
Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. I jump up, only to see that it's Gerald.  
  
"Arnold, you okay? You got hit pretty bad today....several times."  
  
"I know....I just can't concentrate for some reason." I turn off the radio.  
  
"Arnold, tell me the truth. What EXACTLY is going on? I was talking to the guys after you left...you help us so much, we need to pay you back."  
  
I'm not sure HOW to tell him. How do you tell your best friend you're thinking about your enemy more than usual? Especially an enemy he doesn't really like?  
  
"I've been...thinking about someone."  
  
"Oh, Lila?" I sigh, wishing everyone didn't know about my crush on Lila.  
  
_Or nonexistant crush._  
  
"No, it has nothing to do with Lila. It's someone else." Gerald's eyes open wide.  
  
"YOU got over LILA? It's about time, man. But seriously...who's the someone else?"  
  
"Uh....can I...keep that a secret? I'm not saying I don't trust you...it's just that...I'm not sure how you're going to react."  
  
"Yeah, but whoever it is, I won't react."  
  
"Yes, you will."  
  
"If I'll react SO MUCH, then who is it?"  
  
I sigh again. I really can't tell him....  
  
_Just tell him, Arnold._  
  
"You promise you won't tell ANYONE?" Gerald blinks.  
  
"I swear I won't. Now, who is it?"  
  
"....Helga." And he blinks again, this time, with wide eyes.  
  
"Helga? Helga G. Pataki?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"The girl who's always messing with you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Helga. G. Pataki."  
  
"Yeah." I know he'd think I'm crazy...  
  
"Have you LOST IT? Why are you thinking about HER? Worst of all, why are you wasting your time and CONCENTRATION on her?"  
  
"See, you're reacting." I close my eyes.  
  
"I'm not reacting...I'm just...surprised. Why?"  
  
"I'm still trying to figure that out, Gerald."  
  
"You...you don't LIKE HER LIKE HER, do you?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
_Yes you do. You know you do._  
  
"Oh....are you sure?" He eyes me suspiciously.  
  
"Of course I'm sure, Gerald."  
  
_No, you're not._  
  
"Because the last times when you were like this, you had a crush on someone. Except this time, it's MUCH worse."  
  
"I don't like Helga."  
  
_See, even GERALD knows you like like Helga._  
  
_//Why can't you just shut up?//  
  
I can't. I'm your sensible inner voice._  
  
"Um...Arnold?" I snap out of my thoughts. "See, there you go again. Are you a hundred percent sure?"  
  
"For the last time, Gerald, yes."  
  
_He's suspecting something._  
  
"Okay....if you say so. Now, while I'm here...you wanna play cards?"  
  
~~~~~   
* = From the song "Porcelina of the Vast Oceans".   
~~~~~   
M. Silvermane - ^^; I'm so sorry about that...I usually type my stories like that, but they're much easier to read in Times New Roman than in the default font on Fanfiction.net. But all the dialogue should be fixed now. ^_^ And I love that line too. I had someone say that to me once...  
  
Maxine - Well, no one had to read it, but they did, and I really appreciate that. ^_^ Sorry if that sounded like the end....it isn't....^^; 


	4. Forever you...

I probably misunderstood these lyrics....their lyrics are vague, but oh well. ^_^;   
Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. ^^;  
  
_I'll make the effort, love can last forever   
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth   
Tomorrow's just an excuse   
And you can make it last   
Forever you...   
- Thirty-Three_  
  
Gerald left about a few hours ago. Apparently, I lost every single game. I still don't know what's wrong with me. Catching the night air once more, I hold that pink bow in my hand. I wonder if she'll ever let me keep it. But it's better in her hair than in a glass case in my room.   
....glass case?   
I know now that I need to speak to Helga. I'm not sure what to say or what to do, but it's something I can't practice in a mirror. It's something that needs to grow by itself, not rehearsed. But I feel like I might mess it up if I don't practice.  
  
_Whatever you have to say will come from your heart. Things from the heart never fail.   
//In some cases.//   
But it's different in this case._  
  
And what will I say when I talk to her? What happens if she pushes me away again, not wanting to hear me try to bring the best out of her again? I'm nine years old, and I'm having these problems....I must be strange or something.  
  
_No, just precocious._  
  
Everything's just going so fast...it feels like I haven't stopped the dizziness from when she confessed to me...   
Why do I keep remembering that?  
  
_Because you love Helga, and her loving you back is special. It's a basic question.  
  
//Why do you choose NOW to help me?//  
  
You're too dense to do this on your own. You've always had a place for Helga, right? Helga's special to you in a way that no one can understand but yourself._  
  
In a way, she could never measure up to Lila.   
Measure up?   
This is all too confusing......maybe I'll ask someone I can trust.  
  
"Phoebe? Can I talk to you?"  
  
"Why, of course. What is it?"  
  
"I've never really...talked to anyone about something like this, besides Gerald...."  
  
Did Phoebe just blush?  
  
"....but he doesn't understand, so..."  
  
"Is there a problem, Arnold?" She sounds like she knows.  
  
"I'm sure you know about what happened...on the roof."  
  
She smiles. "Yes, I do."  
  
"I...can't stop thinking about it, Phoebe. Helga's all I think about, day and night. I can't concentrate, she's always in my dreams, I'm practically arguing with myself..."  
  
I've never let out like that before. And it actually feels wonderful...no wonder everyone comes to me for advice, letting out all their worries and problems.  
  
"It's strange that you come to me for advice, since everyone obviously goes to you. But I think I can help you."  
  
"Do you know what's wrong?"  
  
"It's pretty basic, Arnold....you like Helga."  
  
"I know I like her...she's my frie--"  
  
"No, I mean....you like her more than a friend. I believe you do know, you're just in denial. But you shouldn't be."  
  
I blink. This can't be right...  
  
_Arnold, it is._  
  
"This is wrong...I can't like Helga. She's just a friend, maybe when she confessed..."  
  
"Arnold, I've seen this. You know Helga loves you, am I correct? Helga does the same thing. She knows she loves you, yet whenever anyone's around, she denies it. Somewhere, I know you feel the same way for her. It might be hard, considering how young you are, to comprehend it all. But I know."  
  
"Is there...a reason why she won't talk to me or anything?"  
  
"I can't say. But I'll get her to talk to you, though she's very stubborn. I suggest not being direct just yet. It might be overwhelming, to say the least."  
  
"Thanks, Phoebe. You won't tell anyone, will you?"  
  
"Not a word."  
  
"Okay." I feel relieved now.   
  
"Some people who react like this after a confession become infatuated with the person that confessed. However, I believe you've felt like this for a long time, Arnold. Probably longer than Helga has."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I've seen you....I'm too quiet, I think. No one knows I observe everyone in the most subtle way, not even Helga."  
  
"...thanks again." I smile, beginning to walk home.  
  
"Oh, Arnold?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"....whatever you do, don't hurt Helga. She already is....heal her, if you can."  
  
I'm confused. What does she mean?  
  
"Wait...Phoebe?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Should I talk to Gerald?" I know she knows what I meant, because at that moment, she blushed crimson.  
  
"T....th...that would be....nice of you." I can't help but smile.  
  
  
I love Saturday (what kid doesn't?), but not today. Maybe it's one of those days of the week that you just don't like for a reason, but only for that week only. And the day of that week is Saturday.   
Or maybe I just never get to see Helga as much on a Saturday.   
I pass by Gerald Field, watching some of the guys play. Somehow, I don't feel like playing baseball, which is probably a first.   
Great. I'm not just losing my mind, I'm losing my memory too.   
Phoebe said I have a crush on Helga. Not that I don't mind. Sometimes, she can be nice and all, she just needs help making 'sometimes' all the time. It's just that the idea never occurred to me before.   
But....now I understand.   
I like Helga.   
_That's the first time you ever admitted it to yourself._   
I just realized it....I like Helga. That feeling I always had for her whenever she was herself, the part of her that always surprised me and made me feel happy.   
I don't think I love her yet, but I'm completely sure I like her......wanting to know her so much....  
  
_It's the truth, huh?  
  
//Yes.//_  
  
"Hello Arnold, it's ever so nice to see you." I snap out of my thoughts. Lila.  
  
"Oh, hi Lila." Her smile turns into a worried expression.  
  
"Not that...I'm angry about it...or jealous....but you've been ignoring me ever so much, Arnold. Is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm fine, Lila." I really don't like how she said that.  
  
"Um...Arnold...this doesn't have to do with Helga, does it?" My eyes open wide. How does she know?  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"A person must be ever so blind as to not notice. And I do know that she likes you likes you."  
  
"How? Who told you?"  
  
"She did."  
  
Why would Helga tell Lila?  
  
"Well, she told me because she wanted to be Juliet ever so much in our school play."  
  
She wanted to be Juliet, because I was Romeo. That's not surprising.  
  
"You like her like her, don't you Arnold?" she says, smiling.  
  
"I think I do."  
  
"I had a funny feeling that you liked her. That's why I couldn't like you like you, Arnold. It would be ever so wrong."  
  
"Really?" Why is she so perceptive?  
  
"Yes. I think it's ever so sweet! But please don't hurt her, Arnold, or I'll be ever so angry."  
  
"I promise I won't, Lila."  
  
'Thank you...I'll talk to you later, my dad is waiting for me. Bye, Arnold!" she says, walking away.  
  
"Hey, Arnold!" Gerald calls out. "Why don't you play with us?"  
  
I run out to the field, happy. I guess I know now.  
  
  
I'm late for dinner, but I just want to stay out here for a while more. I sit on a bench in the park, just watching the stars in a (for once) clear night sky. Since I studied them for fun once, I can recognize some of the constellations. I've always liked spotting Andromeda and Aquila* for some reason, tracing the lines between the stars with my finger.  
  
"What'cha doing, Football Head? Having a discussion with the sky?" My eyes widen, and I look to my left. Helga's sitting there, her arms crossed.  
  
"No, I was just looking for the constellations."  
  
"I guess it's a perfect night to look at them, huh? Oh, there's Andromeda....there's a story to it, I think." I smile.  
  
"Yeah, I like to trace that one out...looks like a T. What's the story?"  
  
"I don't really remember, just that this girl was chained to a rock, and this guy named Perseus saved her. It's Greek Mythology, I think."  
  
"You like Greek Mythology?" There IS more to her than meets the eye.  
  
"Yeah, some of it."  
  
We sit in silence for a while. Should I talk to her about it, hint it, or leave it alone?  
  
"How come you're out so late, Helga?"  
  
"What, I can't be outside after dark? Is there a LAW against it?"  
  
"No, I was just wondering."  
  
"If you really want to know, Olga came back today, so Big Bob and Miriam took her out to dinner. They didn't even leave me anything. So they won't care that I'm out here late anyway."  
  
Helga has such terrible parents....I really don't understand why they're so hard on her. If only they would stop paying attention to Olga and see who Helga actually is...  
  
"That's terrible, Helga--"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, so what else is new? Anyway, why are you out here?" She's trying to change the subject. I don't blame her.  
  
"I just need to think, that's all."  
  
"Think about what, Arnoldo?"  
  
".....things." I think she gets the hint, because all she does is nod and stay silent. She leans forward, obviously tired, hungry, and hurt. Biting my lip in nervousness, I take her hand.   
She stares at me.  
  
"Helga....you're not alone, okay? I'm here if you need me." She looks as though she wants to cry, but obviously is fighting them back as she yanks her hand from my grasp.  
  
"Look, Football Head, I don't need help, and I don't need you. I'm just fine!"  
  
"No, you're not, Helga. You're obviously neglected from your parents. I want to help you."  
  
"Yeah, well, you can't. You can't do anything...no one can. Now leave me alone."  
  
Helga turns away from me, facing the side of the bench. I close my eyes, feeling another rush of night wind.  
  
"Helga....I want you to come for dinner at my house. Please?"  
  
She did nothing but stare, eyes wide open.  
  
~~~~~   
* = A really bad pun. ^^; Arnold's name means "Powerful Eagle".....Aquila is The Eagle. ^_^;   
~~~~~  
  
M. Silvermane - You're welcome, and thank you. ^^; (That sounded strange in the same sentence...) I know not even HE listens to his voice of reason sometimes. *is reminded of New Bully on the Block*  
  
UnluckyBlueGoddess - I found that weird, considering he's the main character. And since we always get a POV of Helga, we needed one of Arnold too.   
Psy_Girl - Really? I hope you get to see it one way or another. (And Mexico's right near Belize, where my family comes from. ^_^ Cool.) Thank you. ^^ 


	5. I want to let her know...

I don't think I wrote this good enough, but I'm moderately satisfied. ^_^;   
Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. ^^;  
  
_And I want to let her know   
That I won't let her go   
I want to let her know   
That I love her so   
- Blew Away_  
  
We walk into the boarding house, where all the boarders were already sitting in the dining room, arguing. Helga raises her eyebrow.  
  
"What are they arguing about?" she asks.  
  
"I don't know. It's always like this."  
  
"Heh. I'm surprised you haven't lost your sanity, Football Head." But she said it without a hateful tone for once.  
  
"I'm surprised too." Grandma, dressed as a medieval peasant, sees us and smiles.  
  
"Kimba! And I see you've brought Eleanor with you. Hurry now, the banquet is about to start!"  
  
"....sure, Grandma."  
  
  
"Grandma, what took so long?" says Mr. Potts, once the food is served. Everyone seems angry.  
  
"Enough whining. We've got the food in front of us, now eat!" says Grandpa, obviously angry at all the arguing.  
  
Helga's silent.  
  
"So, Arnold, who is this you've brought with you to dinner?" asks Mrs. Kokoshka, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, she's one more mouth to feed, Arnold, why bring her?" says Mr. Kokoshka. Everyone glares at him.  
  
"Oskar!" says Mrs. Kokoshka, angry. "Now, what's your name?"  
  
"My name's Helga." she answers. I wonder why she's so quiet?  
  
"Eleanor Roosevelt thought she would drop in for the annual banquet once again!" says Grandma.  
  
Once again?  
  
"Whatever you say, Pookie." says Grandpa.  
  
I lean over to whisper to Helga.  
  
"Why are you so quiet? They're a bit weird, but okay."  
  
"I'm quiet because I WANT to be, okay?" she snaps at me. I wonder...are things that bad?  
  
"Whatever you say, Helga. But you're not unworthy, okay?" I say. Did I say the right thing? It was only a guess as what she was thinking.  
  
But her eyes widen. Maybe I was right.  
  
  
She is sitting on my bed, probably thinking of what had just happened. It must feel awkward to be in the room of the one you love. I can't help but blush at that.  
  
"Why are you blushing, Arnoldo?"  
  
"....no reason."  
  
"Is it LILA?" She said 'Lila' with such cruelty, disgust, and jealousy.  
  
"No, I'm over Lila already."  
  
It's surprising that she didn't refuse my offer. I would've thought she would still try to keep up her facade.  
  
"Why did you accept, Helga?" I ask curiously.  
  
"....because I felt like it. Is there a problem, Football Head? Do you want me to leave now? Was the whole 'come for dinner, please' thing just a joke to you?"  
  
She sounds so emotional now.  
  
"No, it's just that...you accepted. I never thought you would. I thought you'd push me away."  
  
"Well, maybe I'm trying to be nice to you for once."  
  
I smile. ".....it makes you prettier."  
  
Did I just SAY THAT?  
  
"What?" she asks, one side of her eyebrow raising. It's a funny thing to see, but I really don't mind it.  
  
"I said....you're prettier when you're nice."  
  
Silence.  
  
"....thanks, Arnold."  
  
"You're welcome, Helga." She bites her lip, as though trying to decide something, but then shakes her head.  
  
"Hey, Arnold?"  
  
"Yeah, Helga?"  
  
"Can I stay here for the night?"  
  
Now that's surprising. But I smile once more. "Sure."  
  
My heart was throbbing. Helga asked to stay the night. She goes back to her house to get her things. I'm shaking at the thought, not being able to control myself. I walk downstairs to get a glass of water, hoping it'll calm me down.   
I've never felt like this before.   
She returns, her stuff all in a light pink bag. Even the color of the bag suits her. I think if she started to wear a new color, she would never be the same.  
  
"What are you staring at, Arnoldo?" she says, confused.  
  
"Uh....nothing. Here, you can take the bed." I say, trying to steer away from the subject of why I was staring.  
  
"Thanks." she says, getting under the covers. She tries to cover up, but I can see her sniffing my pillow. I smile.  
  
"What?" she asks in an annoyed tone. Her mood changes more than the weather.  
  
"The shampoo is Ocean Breeze." She blinks. Got her.  
  
With a touch of the button on my remote, I turn the lights off. Sometimes, I like sleeping on the couch. It's not the least bit uncomfortable. But for some reasons, I can't sleep now.  
  
"Helga?"  
  
"What, Arnold?"  
  
"Mind if I put on the radio? I won't put on any loud music."  
  
"Sure."  
  
_A summer storm graces all of me   
Highway warm sing silent poetry   
I could bring you the light   
And take you home into the night....*_  
  
I turn off the radio a bit later, feeling the sleep take over. I look over, only to see Helga sound asleep. Quietly, I walk over to her, glancing at her face in the moonlight.   
She really does look beautiful.   
Placing a small kiss on her cheek, I smile.   
"Wait for me, okay?"  
  
The sunlight of the morning shines from the ceiling, almost blinding me. Sitting up, I notice that Helga already woke. I make up the bed, smiling to myself. It's all confusing that Helga would even ask to stay over. I guess that the whole confession thing left her more confident to show her real self.   
It's nice.   
Getting dressed, I walk downstairs, where apparently everyone was done with breakfast. Surprised, I look at the clock. It's already noon. And Helga's nowhere to be found. She probably left already.   
Grandma smiles at me while washing the dishes. "Eleanor left before you could arise, Kimba. She sends her thanks."   
"....okay, Grandma." Sometimes, Grandma's just too weird.  
  
As I walk back up to my room, I notice a small piece of paper on my desk. Pink.  
  
_Thanks, Arnold. I know you're probably wondering why I asked to sleep over....but maybe I can explain or something...some other time.   
Helga_  
  
I think I've been smiling too much these days. Helga's starting to break down her wall...   
_"....whatever you do, don't hurt Helga. She already is....heal her, if you can."_  
  
Now I understand what Phoebe meant.  
  
~~~~~   
* = From the song "To Sheila".   
~~~~~   
CrazyLake42 - You're saying what I've been saying for a long time now. ^^; No matter how good I write, someone always writes it better than me. But you should try and improve anyway. I'm sure anyone could write good if they put their minds to it. ^_^ God, I'm starting to sound like Arnold. o_o   
M. Silvermane - LOL Something like that always happens to me when I'm reading fics. Coincidence? I think not. ^^   
Sabrina - Arnold should be a huge influence on the guys of today, to teach them how they SHOULD be (excluding denseness, but then again, it's cute). ^_^ So sweet and caring and....one could dream of someone like that. ^_~ I'm idealizing again. (If that's even a word.) 


	6. Suffer my desire for you...

I wish this was longer...I was sort of stuck on what to add to it. Arnold reciting poetry might seem a bit out of character, but I thought it might make a nice touch (I'm too much of a romantic....). I made it up, in case you wonder. ^_^   
Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. ^^;  
  
_There are some things   
I'll live without   
But I want you to know   
That I need you right now   
Suffer my desire for you   
- In the Arms of Sleep_  
  
I sit on the roof again that night, watching the sky again. It's so unusual to see the night sky so clear in the city these past few days. Instantly, I see Andromeda, and remember her. Running my fingers over the soft fabric again, I realize I haven't really let go of the pink ribbon. Just for a laugh, I sniff it.   
It smells like roses.   
I've never felt this warm before. It's not like the warmth I felt with Lila, definately not.With Lila, I felt cold. Shut out.   
But with Helga, it's difficult to describe it. I feel like I've entered paradise.   
I trace Andromeda with my finger. I feel so accustomed to this.   
Smiling, I climb back down to my room, and quickly grab a notebook. Monday was Poetry Day (Mr. Simmon's idea, as you should know). Maybe I'll write one about her...even though I'm never good at writing.  
  
Monday morning. Every kid hates it, even me. But today, I feel....this sounds corny...lighter than a feather. I practically run to class, simply happy.  
  
"Arnold, are you feeling alright?" asks Gerald.   
  
"Yeah....." He blinks.  
  
"I KNEW it, man! You have a crush on He--" My eyes widen.  
  
"Gerald! Not so loud!"  
  
"Right....You really like her, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah...."  
  
"Arnold, WHY?"  
  
"I don't know...she's different than what we thought...."  
  
At that moment, Mr. Simmons walks in, a huge smile on his face.  
  
"Hello everyone! Now, today is Monday, and that means that it's Poetry Day! Does anyone have a poem they found that they would like to share?"  
  
I instantly raise my hand.  
  
"Okay, Arnold, you first."  
  
I stand up, a bit nervous about having to recite a poem to Helga (without the class knowing except Phoebe, Gerald, and Lila), but I smile and try to do the best I can.   
"....this...is....I call this....'Lapis'" I take a deep breath, and focus my eyes on Helga.  
  
_The sea   
A pure, deep blue   
Such as your eyes   
Dance with me   
And never leave my side   
I close my eyes   
To reach to you   
And yours slowly open   
The color...of lapis._  
  
"That...that was wonderful, Arnold. A wonderful job...you did." He seems to be wiping a tear from his eyes. He's so emotional.  
  
Helga look at me in shock. I'm shocked too. Was it me who wrote this? I never was good at things like this.  
  
"Well...anyone else?" Mr. Simmons looks disappointed after nobody raised their hands.  
  
"Well, the last day for permission slips is tomorrow. Did anyone bring theirs?"  
  
Because of all that's happened, I completely forgot to turn in mine.  
  
"Arnold, do you have yours? You're usually the first to turn it in."  
  
"Well....a lot's been going on, so I...kind of forgot."  
  
"That's okay, Arnold. Just turn it in tomorrow. I'm sure you don't want to miss out on all the special fun we'll be having!"  
  
Half the class groans.  
  
  
Everyone thinks I've lost it. Not only have I been acting "strange", I also wrote a poem.   
Though everyone just guessed I'm still pursuing Lila.  
  
"Arnold, your presentation was excellent. Such emotion." Phoebe.  
  
"Thanks, Phoebe."  
  
She smiles. "Helga?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I never would've thought you would come to your senses so quickly. Then again, I just might be wrong in my observations."  
  
Gerald walks over, and Phoebe suddenly blushes.  
  
"Hey, Phoebe." he says, smiling.  
  
"Hello, Gerald......"  
  
I wink at her, amused at the situation. "I'm going to go get some water. I'll be right back."  
  
Walking to the water fountain, I can't help but laugh. They're too shy to even speak to each other. Once I sort out everything, I think I'll help them...I'll leave them to decide for now.  
  
"They're sweet together." mumbles someone behind me. I turn to see Helga.  
  
"What?" she asks, a bit annoyed.  
  
"I'd never think that you would agree with Gerald and Phoebe." She smirks.  
  
"Tall Hair Boy isn't exactly someone I'd pick for PHOEBE to like, but that doesn't mean I won't SUPPORT her, Arnoldo."  
  
"But still...you hate Gerald. I think it's pretty nice."  
  
"Whatever floats your boat, Football Head."  
  
I shake my head. "You know, Helga, I let you stay over at my house for the night. The least you could do is try to be nicer. This ISN'T you."  
  
"What are you TALKING about? This IS me, Arnoldo."  
  
"No it isn't. Look, I know you act like this for a reason. I want to help you, Helga."  
  
"I already told you. You CAN'T help me."  
  
"If I can't, then I'll try anyway."  
  
She stares off towards Phoebe and Gerald for a second, then focuses her attention on me.  
  
"Leave me alone, Arnold. There's nothing you can do...can't you get that through your FOOTBALL-SHAPED HEAD?! Leave me ALONE!"  
  
"Helga..."  
  
"You ruined everything...you know that?"  
  
But before I could say anything, she runs from me again.  
  
  
What am I supposed to do now?   
Phoebe and Lila both agree that I should just confront Helga with it. And it won't be hard because she already loves me.   
But what will happen when I tell her?   
I'm just afraid that once I tell her, it'll be over. We'll be together or something, and then one day in middle school, it'll end. I don't ever want to hurt Helga, or leave her. They say that most relationships starting in fourth, fifth, even sixth grade never work out.   
I want us to be different, though. But sometimes, you just can't help but be normal.   
This is all too confusing....too...   
She stares at me, as though she lost in some sick game the fates played with her. But Helga doesn't know it's still playing. I've been trying to act like I used to, playing baseball, going to the arcade, things like that. But I can't help that I'm an entirely different person now. Even now, as I'm playing baseball with the other kids, I feel...not myself anymore.  
  
"FOOTBALL HEAD!" I jump.  
  
"Uh...."  
  
"I said YOU'RE UP!" says Helga, a certain pain in her voice.  
  
I even forgot that I was playing.  
  
  
The day of the field trip. Maybe the museum might take my mind off things.   
We board the school bus, with Helga and Phoebe sitting right behind me and Gerald. He's still blushing after that encounter with Phoebe.  
  
"Are you okay, Gerald?"  
  
"Yeah, man, I'm fine." He's shaking.  
  
"Are you sure? ...you're shaking."  
  
"Just...nervous about the field trip." he says, faking a laugh. I shake my head.  
  
"It's Phoebe, isn't it?" I whisper. His eyes widen.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"....NO! No....no..." Gerald plays with a broken thread on his sleeve. "It...it's not...Phoebe...."  
  
"Gerald, can't you at least tell me?"  
  
"What is SO PRIVATE that you have to WHISPER, Football Head?" says Helga.  
  
"Nothing, Helga. And it IS private, so can you just BUTT OUT?" says Gerald.  
  
"Whatever, Geraldo." She sits back down.  
  
I think she was trying to say something to me, but failed.  
  
".....okay, so it's Phoebe. But can we call her....Selene* or something?"  
  
"Sure. What about Selene is making you so nervous?"  
  
"I don't know! I mean....I feel weird around her....like I..."  
  
"Like her, like her?"  
  
"Yeah. She makes me feel...weird. I can't look at her without feeling really...warm."  
  
"Gerald, why don't you tell her you like her?"  
  
"Because...I'm too...afraid." He closes his eyes. "Man, I'm stupid."  
  
"No, it's natural. Look, all you have to do is...." I stop. I have nothing to say. No advice or anything.  
  
I'm going through the same thing he is.  
  
"Is what, Arnold?" He's confused. I honestly don't know.  
  
"....confront her about it. I know for a fact she likes you, Gerald."  
  
"...she does?" I laugh.  
  
"It's OBVIOUS."  
  
  
I love the museum. I always find things in there that are really interesting. We pass an old Chinese armor made entirely of jade. Everyone was expecting it to be boring, but they find it to be the opposite.   
As I walk, I stop at a statue inside a glass case.   
It was a small statue of a young woman chained to a rock. Above her was a giant monster lifting from the waves of the ocean. Beside her was a man on a horse, looking at her with desire.  
  
"Andromeda." says Helga.  
  
"This is Andromeda?" I say, smiling.  
  
Andromeda's eyes were made of some sort of gem...one that was a deep, beautiful blue. Lapis lazuli. I found a necklace in the attic for my mother made out of lapis.  
  
They look like the color of Helga's eyes.  
  
Phoebe was grinning. "I believe Andromeda was a princess, the daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia. They were the rulers of Ethiopia in Greek mythology. Supposedly, Cassiopeia loved to boast about how she was beautiful than even the Nereids themselves."  
  
"Who were the Nereids?" I ask.  
  
"The Nereids were a group of fifty daughters that lived in the Mediterranean Sea. They were known for helping sailors."  
  
Helga smirks. "So they punished Cassiopeia or something?"  
  
"Precisely. They were associated with Poseidon, the god of the sea. Apparently, Poseidon was furious at Cassiopeia's egotistical remark, and sent Cetus, the sea monster, to plague the land. Cepheus was afraid, and asked the oracles on what he could do. The only way was to sacrifice his only daughter, Andromeda, to the monster. The townspeople forced him to agree, and he ended up chaining her to the rock, as you can see."  
  
"Man, all that just because his wife claimed she was beautiful?" says Helga. "Sounds like it's all her mom's fault."  
  
"It was. But Perseus, who was on a journey to claim the head of Medusa, came across her. He slayed Cetus, and married Andromeda."  
  
I never knew there was such a huge story in that one constellation. Looking at the lapis eyes, I smile.   
Helga's eyes.  
  
~~~   
* = If anyone knows mythology or watches Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon, you know the Selene story. ^_^ She was a goddess of the moon who was in love with Endymion, a shepherd. Selene is connected to Artemis, another moon goddess. Another name for Artemis was "Phoebe". Oh, I love puns. ^^; But then again....does Gerald even read mythology? ^_^; I suppose he liked her so much, he even researched her name.   
~~~  
  
Yami Dragoness - Yep. ^_^ And I'm planning a sequel to this....you'll know why when I post the last chapter. :P  
  
jacki - I really want them to make the second movie. I'm...PRAYING they will. This is my speculation. ^^; I actually wrote this before I found out about the second movie, so I might twist it around if it comes out.  
  
Aishiteru Tenshi - I'm aware of that. ^^; At first it was a mistake (I had mistaken it with "Phoebe Breaks A Leg"....was that the episode?), but after I noticed it, I didn't want to use Eleanor Roosevelt. I thought the Queen Elizabeth thing would be...stranger, I suppose. ^^; But I can change it, that is, if you want me to. ^_^  
  
puppiescute- I LOVE "Dinner for Four". Even more proof that Arnold likes Helga more than a friend. ^_^ And the way his pupils shrunk during that scene in the movie. I'm not sure if it's shock or he just LOVED the fact that Helga was kissing him...it might not be the latter...but it was cute. But I could go on and on about Arnold's hints....I'm sure Helga still loves him. ^_~ When you're THAT devoted to the guy you love, it doesn't disappear so easily.  
  
Amanda - Thanks. I really do wish they'd make a whole episode dedicated to Arnold's feelings on Helga. They say that he might discover them in the Jungle Movie, but that's IF they make it...  
  
hopeless romantic2aT - I thought I made them act TOO mature. ^_^; I can't remember what I was like at nine, but I know they act too mature for 4th graders. Especially Arnold...  
  
Flower Powerer - The whole of Hey Arnold is addicting. ^_^ I could sit for hours watching the episodes I have on tape and reading Arnold/Helga fics. But it's a good addiction. XD  
  
pokey - I think Helga would act the same in any case, written or verbal. I'm starting to wonder if part of the entire series is dedicated to Arnold trying to figure out Helga in a subtle way. ^_^ He's almost there, with that confession and all....Helga let out a huge chunk that makes up who she is, and Arnold knows it, I'm sure. Oh, one could go into deep discussions about Hey Arnold. ^_^  
  
QueenAngel - Sorry about that. ^_^; If anything, it's "silent_hikari@yahoo.com". Wasn't The Patakis a spin-off? I think they turned the idea down...one where Arnold moves away and Helga's older. As for the "Old Betsy", I don't think I've heard of them.  



	7. Just stay with me for a while...

The last chapter! I read it over a few days ago, but for some reason, seemed a bit rushed. So I added some more stuff in, hopefully this is a good ending. It's my first time completing a chaptered story. I'm planning a sequel for this, when they're much older, just to let you know. ^_^ I'm so thankful to everyone that read and loved my story. (Now it's over, Maxine. ^_~)   
Disclaimer's on the first chapter, if you're looking for someone to sue. You should know this by now...  
  
_By starlight, I'll kiss you   
And promise to be your one and only   
I'll make you feel happy   
And leave you to be lost in mine   
And where will we go?   
What will we do?   
Soon, said I, will know   
- By Starlight_  
  
I have to talk to her. In one way or another.   
Maybe Helga was able to withstand six years without telling me, but I can't go on not letting her know how I feel. I can't deny anything anymore, can't change the way I feel about her. It's as if something, a feeling, built up inside of me has suddenly bursted out.   
Something I never knew about, or felt. It's like I'm noticing it for the first time, understanding everything. Everything's so clear now.   
A few months ago, before the dream, before the confession, before everything...if someone told me I'd actually fall for Helga Pataki, I would've laughed and thought they've lost it. Now, I can't imagine a time when I didn't feel this way.   
I close my eyes, avoiding watching those white Saturday clouds. I could see her face in each passing one. I wonder if the same thing would happen if I took those inkblot tests the psychiatrists give you.   
But I can't help but see her face in the darkness, not as a bully, but a vulnerable person, shut off entirely from the world. It's all so clear now.   
Closing my eyes, I let sleep take over. Maybe tomorrow.  
  
I stand in the hallway, waiting to see when she'll arrive. Gerald stands with me, shaking his head. He simply can't understand.  
  
"You really like Helga?"  
  
"For the last time, Gerald, yes."  
  
"I'm sorry..it's just....weird, I guess. Are you sure she likes you back?"  
  
".....I'm sure of it."  
  
"Okay, whatever you say, Arnold."  
  
A thought of him and Phoebe crosses my mind.  
  
"Gerald, did you tell Phoebe?" He looks down at the floor.  
  
"Tell her...what?"  
  
"That you like her." It's hard to tell, but I know he's blushing.  
  
"Well...I...uh....you see.......I'm afraid."  
  
"Afraid? But she likes you, Gerald!"  
  
"It's just that...it's....kind of hard. I mean...."  
  
"I know what you mean....but she has to know someday."  
  
But I pause as Helga and Phoebe walk in. As they pass us, I make my move once again.  
  
"Hey, Helga?" She turns around, a lost look in her eyes.  
  
"What, Arnoldo?"  
  
"....uh....I..." Why can't I speak?  
  
"What?! I don't have all DAY, you know."  
  
"......can I...talk to you...after school?"  
  
Helga stares at me for a few seconds. I can almost see a hope building inside.   
I wonder how I could see anything just by looking in her eyes. It's as though they're deep enough to show anyone her true self, if only they would take the time to look.  
  
"About what?."  
  
"....just...something."  
  
"What, you can't tell me now? I'm BUSY after school today."  
  
"It's...a long talk."  
  
"Then talk to me tomorrow or something."  
  
I look down to the floor. Do you think she knows the reason, but doesn't want to face it?   
Phoebe looks away, probably knowing what I was going to talk to Helga about. And Gerald is silent.  
  
As they walk away, Gerald shakes his head again.  
  
"Man....are you SURE Helga Pataki likes you?"  
  
This time, I didn't answer him.  
  
  
Lying on my bed that night, I watch the rain fall onto the glass that made up the ceiling. I used to hate it when it rained, but now, the rain makes me think.  
  
"Hey short man." says Grandpa, walking inside with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.  
  
"Hey Grandpa."  
  
"I brought you some cookies and milk, if you don't mind. Oatmeal raisin."  
  
"No thanks...I'm not really hungry." Grandpa blinks.  
  
"Well, what's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing....I'm just confused, that's all." I can see this twinkle in his eye, like he knows what I'm talking about.  
  
"Ah. The same thing happened to me. I didn't know WHAT to do! So, I asked my father."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"....never eat raspberries. Good advice, though it didn't help me there! Oh, I was confused! Gertie had just--"  
  
I look at him in surprise. Gertie? I remember that story!  
  
"Grandpa....you mean....Grandma is..."  
  
"The girl that tortured me throughout the whole time I was in school? Yes, Arnold! Didn't I tell you that?"  
  
"No, I think you forgot."  
  
"So maybe you'll grow up and marry that little girl with the pink bow and the one eyebrow. Of course, she just might get rid of the one eyebrow by then. Girls don't like that stuff by the time--oops...need to go."  
  
He ran out. It's just strange how his story was the same as mine.  
  
  
It was late, and the rain hadn't stopped, but I decided to go for a walk anyway. I put on my coat, grab the green umbrella I've had for a long time now, and walk downstairs.   
Grandma's dressed as an Egyptian.  
  
"Grandma, I'm going for a walk. I'll be right back."  
  
"Okay, Kimba. Greet the Pharaoh on your way out, if you please."  
  
"Sure, Grandma." Sometimes, I just wish I wasn't the only sane one.  
  
  
Walking outside with my same green umbrella, I notice Helga sitting on the park bench, soaking wet in the distance. I run towards her. Why was she out here in the rain? What happened? My heart was beating fast, faster than I've ever felt. Suddenly, it all doesn't matter that it's raining, just that something must be wrong.  
  
"Helga! Why....why are you out here in the rain?" Her hair was let out again, sticking to her shoulders.  
  
She's beautiful.  
  
"What's it to you, Arnoldo?" she says, a melancholic tone in her voice.  
  
"Please, Helga, tell me."  
  
But she just looks at me, angry and hurt  
  
"Why are you PRETENDING to care? No one cares about me." She tries to run from me again, but I grab her wrist.  
  
"I'm not pretending. And you're wrong, Helga.....I care about you." I realize that I dropped the umbrella somewhere, and I'm soaking wet in the rain. But it didn't matter...  
  
"Yeah, Arnold....you care about EVERYONE." She crosses her arms and....she's crying?  
  
"But I care about you more than everyone else. Look, Helga...I...I..." I can't say it. Why can't I say it?  
  
_Whatever you have to say will come from your heart. Things from the heart never fail._  
  
"You WHAT, Football Head?"  
  
"I...love you, Helga. I really do. It took me so long to understand, but..." She looks at me, not saying anything. More tears fall from her sapphire eyes.  
  
"...what....what...did you say?" I hug her, forgetting that we were both standing in the rain.  
  
"I love you, Helga."  
  
"You...love me, Arnold? But...why..."  
  
"I just do. I know you're not this mean. You're just hurt, that's all." I smile, looking in her eyes. "I'll make sure they never hurt you again."  
  
She smiles, still crying. "I did mean it."  
  
"I know you did."  
  
"But why are you out here?" Helga turns away from me.  
  
"Big Bob kicked me out. He found out that I was trying to get rid of Olga again."  
  
I clench my fists. I've always hated her dad. "But still, he can't put you out in the rain!"  
  
"I'm nothing to him...to them...to anyone." I hold her again.  
  
"But you're not nothing to me."  
  
She looks at me. "So, where do we go from here?"  
  
"I'm not sure." I look away. I still feel like it'll fail.  
  
"....I understand."  
  
I smile. "We'll...put it on hold, right?"  
  
"Sure. Keep it under wraps again...but at least we both know." She looks happier than I've ever seen her in my life.  
  
"Wait for me, Helga."  
  
"I will, if you'll wait for me."  
  
Remembering the pink bow, I pull it out. It's a bit damp.  
  
"My bow! You found it on the roof, didn't you?"  
  
"What were you doing on my roof?"  
  
"Watching you. It's a free country, Football Head." But the name sounded more loving than ever. I tie it in her hair.  
  
"Now I know why you love this bow so much."  
  
Picking up the umbrella, I turn to her.  
  
"So, should I walk you to my house?" She smiles again.  
  
"Whatever floats your boat, Arnoldo."  
  
We walk under the umbrella, soaking wet but not caring. She holds my hand tightly, as though she doesn't want to let go of the thought either. It's like a dream, something I would've never thought would be real. For the first time, I feel complete.  
  
"I like your bow, Helga."  
  
"Why do you like it, Arnold?"  
  
"Because it's pink...like your dress."  
  
I look into her eyes...blue eyes....  
  
Eyes of lapis lazuli.  
  
  
_Hey blue, where'd you run to now?   
Miss you since they found you out   
I've been waiting such a long time   
For your smile, for you  
  
I lay with you this velvet morning   
Stay with me for a while   
Where we run to is up to you   
Just stay with me for a while.  
  
- Blue_  
  
Owari (End).   
~~~  
  
pokey - Hopefully I'll get around to studying it...I love mythology. I don't know that much, only a little bit. It's fun putting mythology in a Hey Arnold fic...to me, that is. :D  
  
Queen Angel - I really thought it was. ^_^ This story was untitled for a while, until I listened to a song called "Lapis", and I remember looking for an example of a lapis lazuli stone a while back. Deep blue...and I still imagine Helga's eyes to be that same color. ^_^  
  
P-chan - I try NOT to write them so short, but for some reason, it still comes out that way. ^^;  
  
Cherry - Why do you have a hard time reading them? ^_^;; That's strange for me...I could sit for hours reading Hey Arnold fanfiction......when I should be doing something else....  
  
Houkanno Yuuhou - Hi!! ^__^ I never knew you were on that name. What should I call you now? ^^; Mellon Collie, and Siamese Dream are my two favorite albums. I'm planning to put "Galapogos" in the next story to this. ^_^ I used to be a HUGE fan of Sailormoon. I still am, but not as...obsessive about it. And who knows, maybe I am. ^_~   
And since you suggested it, I'll try sending it there. ^_^ Thank you.  
  
jacki - I guess if they ask a question or a comment that you want to...comment on...it's a good idea. ^^; It's sort of bad for me...I end up rambling or talking too much in a response.  



End file.
